From an elopement photographer… who has also eloped!!!

If you’ve landed here, chances are you’ve been thinking about eloping, or you’ve already made the exciting decision to take the plunge (yayyyyyyy!!!) into an intimate wedding, and you probably already have a sense that not everyone is going to get it, but guess what? They don’t have to! It is, however, the hard reality of choosing a path that’s a bit different from the traditional. Eloping is such a beautiful way to get married, but the people who love you might still have some concerns. If you’re ready to face some of these conversations head-on, here’s how you can handle them with care—and still stay true to what feels right for you and your partner.

“We Want to Celebrate With You!”

This is something that I think we can all understand: weddings are a huge event in your life, and your people want to be there with you. They want to see you all dolled up in your dress or looking dapper in a suit, tearfully watch you exchange vows and then give you the biggest bear-hug when the ceremony is over. It’s a big moment, and it’s human nature for your loved ones to want to be a part of it. So naturally, when you elope, even though it is the farthest thing from your intention, it might feel to them like you’re shutting everyone out.

How to Handle It: It’s okay to gently tell them that you’re not skipping the celebration; you’re just doing it differently. A big wedding doesn’t make your love any more real or lasting. What matters is the commitment, the experience, and the joy you share together. For you, an elopement feels more authentic. And while you’re keeping the ceremony intimate, you’re still planning to celebrate together! Help them feel included by tossing around ideas about how to celebrate, either before or after. Host a small dinner with your closest friends and family before you leave or throw a casual reception in your back yard and hire a photographer so you can still get those memorable family photos together. It’s all about finding a way to share your love with them—just not in the traditional way. It doesn’t mean they’re excluded, just that you’re starting things in a more personal way.

“That seems so impersonal, why wouldn’t you want to have a real wedding?”

Some people think that eloping means it’s not real or meaningful enough. Maybe they feel like if it’s missing all the pomp and circumstance of a traditional wedding it won’t be as memorable?

How to Handle It: You know this already, but I’ll say it anyway: eloping is so meaningful. It’s just as real and just as significant—if not more so—than a big wedding. And what is a real wedding anyways? You are signing the same marraige licence as any couple who throws a few hundred person wedding. Explain to them that you’re doing it your way, and that’s what makes it truly special. You can still make your ceremony personal with meaningful vows (likely even more so without the worry of everyone you know hearing them), a favorite location, or having a even close friend officiate. It’s all about what makes you feel most comfortable, at ease and excited, not about what others expect.

“Why Are You Rushing Into It!”

Ughhhhhh….. this one. People love to assume that if you’re not having a big wedding with months or years of planning, it must mean you’re rushing into the commitment. They might think you’re not taking things seriously enough.

How to Handle It: This is an easy one to clear up. Just remind them that you’re making a decision that feels right for you—it’s not about rushing into marriage or taking the easy way out; it’s about keeping it simple and staying true to yourselves. Why throw a big event and spend all that money and time if it feels hollow inside while you’re planning it? Eloping isn’t impulsive—it’s intentional. You’re doing this because it feels real and right for your relationship and it gives you butterflies in your stomach every time you think about it! You are making choices based around experiences that you as a couple value and find comfort in one can judge they right way or timing for you to get married but you!

“I can’t help but wonder, why don’t you want us there?”

Yeeeesh, this is another tough one. People can have a challenging time understanding that while you may not be inviting them, the goal of eloping isn’t to exclude them intentionally. While it might sting hearing it, try not to take this one personally. Questioning this is more of a reflection of their feelings being tied to their own expectations of what they envision for your wedding or a belief that weddings aren’t as meaningful if they aren’t centered around family and tradition. But the point that is truly being missed is that while you love them dearly, your wedding isn’t meant to be about them at all.

How to Handle It: Share the reasons why you made this choice with them, maybe you want to invest more in your future and buy a house before you have kids or you’ve always loved travelling and you want to start your lives together in a place that is truly meaningful to you. You can also try to reassure them that while they may not be there in person you still want them to be a part of your day. Ask them to be a part of the planning process, show them the locations you’re considering, bring them along dress shopping, set a time to facetime them on the day of your ceremony to share in your excitement with you!

“It’s Not What We Expected.”

Honestly, it’s understandable. A lot of people have an idea of what a wedding should look like. And when you tell them you’re eloping, it’s probably not the first thing they envisioned when they imagined your big day. They may feel surprised, or even a little let down.

How to Handle It: Deep breath here… and remember: your day is about you, not anyone else’s expectations. You’re choosing to have a wedding day that truly represents you and your partner, that is a brave step and something worth celebrating! You could say something like, “I know it’s not what you expected, but this is the kind of wedding that feels right for us. We’ve thought about it, and this is how we want to start our marriage—just the two of us. We’re really happy with our decision and would love for you to share in our excitement with us.” After all, when you get married, it’s your day—not a show for everyone else.

“What About the Photos?”

I’m not gonna lie—this one makes me laugh a little because I can totally see the concern. People love wedding photos, especially the traditional ones. They might worry that by eloping, you’re missing out on those magical pictures of your first kiss, cutting the cake, and everyone smiling at you.

How to Handle It: Don’t worry—you can still have beautiful photos. In fact, you might even get more intimate, personal shots because it’s just you and your partner without 150 people watching. A good photographer will help you capture all the love and beauty of the day—whether you’re standing on a mountaintop, in the middle of a forest, or in your backyard. It’s about those moments that truly reflect you, not a bunch of posed shots.

“You’ll Regret Not Having a Big Day.”

Ah, the fear of future regret. Some people will always be worried that you’ll look back and wish you’d had that big wedding experience—the dress, the flowers, the big celebration. It can feel like a huge risk to not follow the “traditional” route.

How to Handle It: I can answer this one with ten years of married experience, my Husband and I both agree we would elope all over again in a heartbeat, wouldn’t change a damn thing. But every person is different and this is a good time to explain that you’ve already thought this through. Eloping isn’t about avoiding something—it’s about embracing something that feels right. A big wedding is amazing for some people, but it’s not for everyone. You’re doing what makes you feel fulfilled, and that’s what matters most. Trust me, when you’re years into your marriage, you’re not going to regret starting with a day that truly reflected your love for each other.

At the end of the day, your wedding day is your day. Eloping is a beautiful way to focus on what matters most to you and your partner, without the distractions of big wedding expectations. While objections from loved ones are totally normal, you’re making a decision that feels right for you—and that’s something to be proud of. So, handle the questions and concerns with compassion, but don’t forget that your happiness is what truly matters. And I promise you that as long as you follow your hearts, whatever you choose is going to be amazing. Its your love, you wedding and your memories together and thats all that truly matters.